One Hot Tamale

As you may imagine, life as a single white woman is very different here in Djibouti than it is in the US. I have been abroad before—spent a summer in Europe, summer in Malawi (southern Africa), even traveled to Djibouti previously, so through the course of various travels, I’ve gotten used to male attention and unusual encounters with foreign men. Or at least, I thought I had until I moved here. But nothing could have prepared me for the way the men here react to me. In a week and a half, my encounters with them have ranged from hilarious to borderline obscene. From the first day, it seemed that every time my roommate and I stepped out the door, all male eyes were on us. Men routinely call things out to us as we pass by. Some of my favorites are “Hey! I really like you!” “Oui, oui, Madame!” “I like the way you dress. It is very good here.” “You are so beautiful!” “Hey, tall girl! Tall girl!” and “Yay for Obama!” (This last one doesn’t have as much to do with how we look. I just think it’s funny that people shout Obama as we walk past. Africans really love him.) The two of us together are an unusual combination. Kristie has light blond hair and I am pale and tall (taller than almost all the women and many of the men). But even when I’m out by myself, men still react to me. It is so weird to see a group of men chatting with each other, and then stop cold and stare at me as I quietly walk by. Their eyes light up as if I were some exotic, beautiful gift from heaven! I rarely smile or talk to men on the street, but even when I have my head down and am draped in lots of clothes, I can still feel them staring at me. It is so strange to go for a walk through our neighborhood and to see men slowing down or even stopping their cars and craning their necks just get a look at me.

I had already been dressing conservatively, but I thought a solution to all this gratuitous attention might be to dress even more modestly and always have my head covered. Yet ironically, I realized, this only makes me more attractive to the men here! A friend pointed out that because I have dark hair, dressing ultra-conservatively might make me seem like a Muslim who just happens to be lighter and therefore, more “beautiful” than their women. So instead of looking at me like an unavailable foreign woman, they see me as one of their own. If you think I am exaggerating, a few days ago I went with Rachel to the market and to tour downtown. She and Tom have lived in Djibouti for six years, and in that time Rachel has gotten her fair share of both comical and inappropriate attention from men. Yet she said that she had never gotten so many cat-calls and comments and so much attention as that morning that we walked through the downtown together. I am used to being treated as a normal person in the US, so it is extremely strange to be the “hot chick” here! But just so you don’t worry, I want to make it clear that this city is quite safe even for a single white woman. Kristie said that in her experience, once people in the community get used to you being there, they become very protective and will shoo away anyone who looks like trouble. Rachel said that when she has been out alone and a man bothered her, she told the people around her and they immediately came to her rescue. Aside from being an object of desire, I have never felt truly threatened in any way and there are many other women out on the streets, so it’s not as if I were putting myself out in society in ways other women aren’t. I am very careful about who I talk to or smile at and have not been (and probably will not be) alone with a local man. Additionally, Tom has helped Kristie and I deal with a man who we felt was a bit suspicious. Tom is well-respected in the community and calls both of us his ‘sisters’, so people know he is our protector. I’ve also asked him to spread the word that I am not available. :)