Saved By Her Fat

One of my roommates told me a story recently that is just too crazy and too funny not to share. Decide for yourself if it is Djibouti or Jerry Springer.

We heard a few days ago that my roommate's language helper's sister-in-law had been stabbed three times and was in the hospital. Apparently, the husband of said sister-in-law had taken two wives--neither of which knew about the other. We didn't catch all the details, but it seems that once the two wives found out about each other, one of the women stabbed the other one. We heard that the stabee had two minor wounds in the thigh, but a potentially serious one in the stomach. We had heard of disputes like this breaking out between jealous women before, but this one seemed pretty serious.

After meeting her language helper again today, Rachael told me "Well, I have some more news about our friend's sister-in-law." She cracked a smile and I knew something was up.

"So, what happened? Is she ok?"

"Actually, it was pretty bad. The doctors thought there might be some serious internal bleeding." At this point, Rachael's slight chuckle turned into uproarious laughter.

"Yes," I replied totally confused. "I can see how internal bleeding might seem so hilarious...but what happened?!"

"You don't understand. Nothing. This lady is going to be fine."

I stared at Rachael blankly, with not even half a clue.

"You see, the sister-in-law is really fat. Normally, a knife going into someone's stomach would have caused severe internal bleeding. But this lady was so huge, the knife didn't even reach any of her organs. It just cut part of the cushion of fat which will heal in no time! No bleeding and she'll be fine."

A woman who was preserved by her own fat. We laughed until we cried.